Someday, Maybe is a debut novel by Nigerian-British author Onyi Nwabineli. The novel follows a young woman named Eve, a week after finding the lifeless body of her husband Quentin, who committed suicide. Losing her husband turns her world upside down, but everyone around her, from friends to family, seems to be pushing her to move on with her life. Unable to look forward towards any kind of a future, Eve instead muses on the past, replaying memories of her and Quentin in order to better understand why he killed himself. But, when Eve discovers she is pregnant, she realises that staying in bed all day, drinking and taking sleeping pills to numb her pain, is no longer an option. And so begins Eve’s complicated and extremely messy journey of healing and recovery.
Someday, Maybe provides a brutally honest and emotionally raw exploration of the layers of grief and all its complexities. Devoid of any form of a suicide note from her husband, Eve is left to deal with the guilt that comes from having a loved one commit suicide. Plagued by questions such as ‘what if ?’, ‘what did I miss ?’, ‘was I not good enough ?’, Eve becomes consumed by guilt and the unknown. The way that Nwabineli captures grief so expertly here makes the novel a tough read at times. As we are so deep into Eve’s headspace, it often feels as though we are experiencing the grief right alongside her. In addition, Nwabineli also delves into the ways that those outside of the tragedy respond to grief. Here she explores how there is an expectation to ‘get over things’ after a certain period of time has elapsed as if grief has an expiration date. There is a sense that grief is too ‘ugly’ to be seen in public; grief makes others uncomfortable. Oftentimes, Eve finds herself being gawked at as if her grief is a catching disease. Nonetheless, Nwabineli treats Eve’s grief with sensitivity and compassion.
Although Someday, Maybe is undeniably a heartbreaking read, it is also incredibly heartwarming as it comes to stand for the power of relationships. Despite pushing everyone around her away, it is only through her support system of friends and family that Eve eventually manages to begin to move on with her life. It was beautiful to see the way in which Nwabineli uses Eve’s grief as an opportunity to explore family relationships and closeness. For example, Eve’s grandmother sends her cooking ingredients from Nigeria to help lift her spirits, whilst her brother is determined to ferry her to and from her counselling meetings. Eve’s support group was also made up of her best friend Bee, as well as some amazing characters she meets on her journey, such as the maid in the hotel Eve stays, who brings her home cooked food and even nurses her through a fever. These bonds were captivating from start to finish, acting as poignant reminders that love always persists, no matter how bad life gets. In this way, the novel stands to say that we can get through anything life throws at us if we have the right people by our side.
All in all, Someday, Maybe is a dazzling novel that provides an intimate exploration of the messiness of grief as well as the power of love.
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