How Reality TV Reflects The Suppressive Nature Of Society

Last Friday evening, people up and down the UK gathered in their living rooms to watch the BBC's current favourite reality TV show: The Traitors. Viewers witnessed the downfall of the first traitor to be unmasked – Armani. Immediately following the banishment of her sister, Maia broke down in tears, feeling guilty for betraying her relative, and had to be comforted by the players sat around her.

Skip forwards a few days to this week's episodes featuring cat and mouse arguments between two candidates in particular – Freddie and Livi. These rows provided entertaining drama for viewers, however eventually ended in tears for both players at consecutive round tables. While players were quick to follow Livi and offer their support and comfort in the midst of her grief, the evening before the cameras cut to a scene in the bar of Francesca giving Freddie a hug whilst telling him 'it's only a game.'

And this is the point that I want to draw on.

First of all, I want to make it very clear that I am not making a dig at any members of the cast, I am merely using their words as an illustration of what I believe to be a serious problem in society today. Secondly, I want to affirm that I am not degrading either gender in my comments, but rather presenting facts based on my own experience. I acknowledge that for some of this article I will be using stereotypes to represent society at large, but there will be some cases where the situations I mention here are not applicable to the whole population.

So, to get into the issue that I have alluded to already – that of when a female shows emotion she is immediately comforted by her companions, however when a male makes a display of emotion he is given the reply: 'it's only a game.'

Now I'm sure that Francesca meant this in a comforting way, however it is true that in society today at large, men are often led to believe by those around them that in order to appear strong they must suppress their natural emotions of sadness or grief.

Crying has been stereotyped as a feminine trait, and therefore if a man sheds a tear, he is seen to be weak and unable to control himself. I speak not only on assumptions here, but drawing on facts that my male friends have shared with me about how they feel in the past.

Society is putting pressure on men to rein in their emotions and bottle up how they feel instead of letting it out through tears – a situation which is quite literally proving deadly for some.

Here's a scary statistic for you – according to statista.com, in 2022 16.4 out of every 100 000 men committed suicide, compared to 5.4 per every 100 000 in women.

Clearly then, there is a problem here, and I believe it to be the matter of suppression. As a girl who has faced some upsetting situations myself, for a while I decided to bottle them all up and not tell anybody because I didn't wish to burden anybody else with my problems. The anxiety and depressive moods I experienced during that time were truly a low point for me, however I have since opened up with my trusted friends and family about the experiences I went through, and the ability to just talk through and offload to people who care about you how you're feeling is irreplaceable.

I know that it's not always easy to share the intimate parts of our life with people – I'm not suggesting you go shouting from the rooftops the story of your life, but being able to open up to those you trust and share how you feel without being judged, really can make the world of difference in somebody's life. Everybody's feelings are valid, whether they believe this or not.

So, to females – I think we can all learn a valuable lesson to not look down on those men that have the strength to open up even when it's really difficult for them, but to be supportive of their transparency and be those friends that they can really trust and feel safe speaking to on sensitive topics.

And to males – there is no need to feel ashamed of grief or tears. This is a natural human emotion, and I believe that often, the empathy it creates through sharing your sufferings with others can create an unbreakable bond. Furthermore, be there for your male friends, support them and let them know that you're interested in their lives and they don't have to go through anything alone.

As a society and as individuals we can make such a positive difference in people's lives, and quite literally save lives through throwing off this unwarranted stereotype of emotions, and being supportive throughout our friends' sufferings.

Yes, reality TV is entertaining, but the issues it can raise awareness of are even more vital for us to spot.