Hey Denise, I hope you're doing well?
I’m well thanks, hope you are too.
In 2018, you came out on stage during your one-woman show, The Pass, at The Playground Theatre, London. Why did you choose to reveal your sexuality in that setting, and did you find the moment liberating?
When I was writing the show, I decided to share the life-defining stories through the decades that I believed would be interesting and entertaining to an audience. Putting together selected experiences that I encountered as a young woman and onward, as a musician, recording and performing artist, a businesswoman, all of it, and then adding in my sexual awakening and thoughts. It belonged in THE PASS.
I was struggling with what I wanted when I was younger, partner-wise, a struggle that became a big part of my everyday existence and in some ways fueled me on. My thinking was maybe through my own experiences I might help or nurture others to navigate similar decisions. Back then I had to make choices, or so I thought. However, things today are so different for many, although not for all. There are many ebbs and flows in what people consider acceptable. Look at what’s been happening in our world. We move forward and then backwards. There may always be a struggle for young people, as they find themselves, that’s part of growing up.
Coming out at 64 must have been freeing—do you feel that this has allowed you to express your true, authentic self in your recent album, ‘PIVOTAL?’ In what ways does ‘PIVOTAL’ embrace your sexuality?
Yes, I strive to always be authentic in life and in my music. However, I want to be clear, people close to me eventually knew who I was/am and who I love. I had never spoken about it to strangers, or on stage with an audience until 2018 and the #9 Episode of THE PASS, “On the Other Hand.” It deals with my having a boyfriend and a girlfriend at the time, and the fact that she was a big secret. Part of it was, I am a private person, and my business is my own. I have always felt free, inside, to do as I wanted, to express myself. Perhaps that’s why I stepped outside the “norm” at the time, to love a woman but with the safety of a boyfriend "on the other hand". I told him, by the way; we are friends to this day. It wasn’t until I moved to London in 1986 that I had my first relationship with a woman, without a boyfriend, and it was still a secret. We are also still friends, she and I. I never believed my sexuality was anyone’s business and it still isn’t. However, now I am open to talk about it and am no longer ashamed about lying about it in the past. We can carry stuff with us for so long, that it eventually feels like the truth. Because of when I was born and the prevailing attitudes for much of my life, it was taboo, so I pretended for years.
‘PIVOTAL’ was written and recorded while solo, in other words -- not in a relationship. Making ‘PIVOTAL’ and my love of making music, is my deep forever passion; it certainly has all my attention these days. That may be the sensual part, giving all of myself to the project, all the wild, deep wonderful, complicated
feelings and emotions. When you write a song and sing it, you are giving a big piece of yourself to whoever listens to it. That’s a lot of love to share in a lifetime; I’ve written many songs.
Do you believe there is a stigma surrounding women coming out in their fifties and beyond?
Unfortunately, there will always be stigmas around many things from people who are less empathetic and more judgmental, and who do not understand something or someone different from themselves. I still think there are stigmas, however you must do as you are not as people want you to be. That goes across the board.
Did you face challenges in coming to terms with your sexuality and navigating the industry, and how did you overcome them?
I spent lots of time on my own, working on my music. My focus kept me away from trouble, mayhem; I always found comfort in my work.
For women in similar situations, do you believe it’s never too late to come out and embrace who they are?
It is never too late to be who you are or do what you love or love who you truly love. Love is a powerful attraction, and it moves us all.
You’ve mentioned that sexuality shouldn’t be such a central subject - particularly in the music industry. Do you find it easier now to be accepted?
Correct, it’s like someone choosing to wear a pink long dress on stage during a performance or a pair of jeans with a blazer. Being an artist, in my opinion, is what we artists create from the inside out. The art is the artist. At least for me. My work has always been my main priority, not what I wear or who I sleep with, it’s about my music. People listen to what you create, and they feel what they feel when they hear it. My career is in a very different place this decade. 😊 I run my own label, KeyMedia Group, and my business and I do not have a manager or an agent at this time, so what people think, whether they accept me or my work, is out of my hands. I create and let it go. That is my biggest accomplishment as an artist.
8How do you hope ‘PIVOTAL’ will resonate with the LGBTQ+ community?
I hope the LGBTQ + community feels the love, respect, optimism, determination, and the fact they are never alone. I hope they sing along, dance, feel good, and are motivated, and even discover a bit of themselves as they listen and/or read the various interviews and articles about the album. In fact, I hope and wish that every community there is in every country feels something when they listen. Love who you love, including yourself. Do what you love as well, no matter what. And never count yourself out, don’t give up!
Are there any LGBTQ+ artists, past or present, that you admire or draw inspiration from?
I respect k d lang and Melissa Etheridge, as they were proud and out when others were unable to be. They represent a huge shift in the music business for women, all women. It helped other artists be exactly who they are, and suddenly the female archetype recording artist, expanded. Hallelujah! I remember hearing many male rockers going both ways…or being gay and no one flinched. When I first went to NYC to pursue my dreams, I heard lots of comments and rumors about other female artists, and all the judgment around so many issues, but I just kept my focus and kept my secrets. I was determined to be the best singer, songwriter and music producer that I could be.
What’s next for you following the release of ‘PIVOTAL’?
Finding my next true love. 😉
Thank you for this intimate opportunity to share some of my thoughts with your audience, and for the love you give to all! Xo DM
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