A Lighter Take On The News

Another week, another lighter take on the news! A summary of the news.

A Lighter Take On The News

Theresa May has declared that she is truly the Leader of the Conservative party and of Britain. Sorry to rain on our leader's parade but does she realise that the last time she declared (over and over again) something along similar lines - 'strong and stable government' - she, and her Government, ended up being just the opposite and Britain got a 'CONDUP' Government.

To add to our leader's woes, she has big, shaggy, blond Bobo Johnson yelping and snapping at her ankles. I bet Mrs May wishes he was still dangling from that zip wire he was stuck on sometime back.

Apparently Boris and that fine diplomatic President across the pond, are good pals. Perhaps BJ could have a word with Mr. T regarding his tweet, after the Parsons Green incident on the tube.

But then again, Boris had his 4000 word article published just six days after the incident, so maybe not.

Someone should be brave enough to stop the Orange One's reckless tweets. His thumbs would probably get the shakes and have to go into therapy but surely it would be worth the sacrifice, to live in a Trump tweet free world.

Now, I am sure most of us don't expect the offspring of celebrities to be rocket scientists (although Ella and Alexander Clooney may prove to be the exception). However, it is getting a bit predictable when they all appear to turn to modelling.

The latest young model to hit the runway, is Lennon Gallagher. Apparently, dad Liam said, among other things, that he would like a cut of his wages. To quote LG, 'I am like, change your name to Lennon Kensit and see how much work you get...zilch'.

Now, I am like, 'Someone give the man 'father of the year award' or get the poor boy some therapy. I am talking about junior of course. Where Senior is concerned, that ship has sailed a long time ago.

If Liam is not careful, Noel won't be the only family member he will be estranged from.

That, I am sure, is not the case with the Beckhams when their children 'achieve' fame. Even when Brooklyn managed to publish a book on photography before starting his course on photography,I can imagine David saying 'well done mate' while Vicky pouted proudly on.

While on the topic of Vicky and her pouts, prepare for a perpetual pout or for her pout to last until Christmas at the very least. Why? you ask. Well apparently Simon Cowell said that one of the contestants in X-factor sounded like Victoria Beckham (and he wasn't paying the contestant a compliment).

I wonder what the ratings for the X-factor are. I only ask because Simon was seen shopping barefoot in LA. Perhaps he was taking one in the foot (or feet) for the show.

As they say, 'no publicity is bad publicity' even if you look rather silly walking around LA, as if it is your own personal Ashram.

Latest research shows that if you are very rich, you most likely are not happy. Good sleep and great sex apparently are the things that send your happiness barometer soaring.

Now, let it not be said that I don't do my bit for humanity. As it happens, I am an insomniac, so my chances of happiness are as non existent as my ability to sleep. So, I suggest that you throw your millions my way. I will be a very unhappy rich person and you can live happily ever after. Yes, I know, I am all heart!

photo%2B%25282%2529.jpg

2 Comments

  • Luke Taylor

    On 25 September 2017, 10:51 Luke Taylor Contributor commented:

    Keep these going! They're hilarious :D

  • Rena  de Souza

    On 25 September 2017, 17:45 Rena de Souza commented:

    Thank you!

Post A Comment

You must be signed in to post a comment. Click here to sign in now

You might also like

West End Actor Interrogates Stereotyping Faced by Latinx People in Soho Theatre Solo Show

West End Actor Interrogates Stereotyping Faced by Latinx People in Soho Theatre Solo Show

by Daniel Miller

Read now